yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
