ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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