he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
