we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
