Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize