Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
