Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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