I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize