Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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