I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize