Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
