when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
