I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
