..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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