During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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