Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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