mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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