"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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