It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize