I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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