her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
