Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
