i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
