Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
