**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
