I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
As shirtless as possible
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
