It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
