He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
