this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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