People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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