ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Will exercising make me less horny?
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