never play flip cup with pint glasses
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
