I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
