Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
