I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
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Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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