It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
