Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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