She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
