you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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