stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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