please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize