Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
