If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
