thus making me awesome and them whores
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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