You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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