you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
