I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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