I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
