I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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