you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize