It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
