If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm sobbing to NWA
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
