my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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