is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
