nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize