1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
"it" just moved
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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