U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
