I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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