Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
