Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
